Sunday, May 15, 2011

Getting Reddi for Grandparenting

Each time one of the girls has a new baby I'm just floored with all of the new baby gizmos. Heated wipe boxes, shopping cart covers, bottle drying trees, little chewy containers that hold chopped fruit. It's a wonder my children ever made it to kindergarten without all this paraphernalia. If you're about to become a grandparent for the first or the twenty-first time, I have a shopping list for you. Forget all that new fangled stuff. You need to concentrate on other things guaranteed to make you a granny any child would like to visit.

You see, I had one of those grandmothers. One of those fun grandmothers. In her pantry at the back staircase was an old jar from my great grandfather's store. The jar was filled with miniature marshmallows, the perfect treat for a little bitty toddler. I have my grandmother's marshmallow jar. And her marshmallows. I'd show you a photo except you'd collapse. I've had the jar and the marshmallows for 30 years and the marshmallows were beige when I got them. It's kind of like King Tut's tomb now. Just gotta keep 'em. Wal-Mart sells an almost identical jar AND the marshmallows. White, fresh, fluffy ones. Keep it on your counter for quick treats, tasty rewards, and needed bribery tools.

What's really necessary is a can of Reddi-Whip. Let the children's parents worry about carrots and protein. Your job is to produce smiles like the one modeled below. All it took was a can o'cream. See that smile? He knows what's about to happen.
And while they're extra tasty and fresh, a large bowl of strawberries. "Can you feel the love tonight....."
Each pint-sized contestant selects the berry of his or her choice.
And let the fun begin. This is what is known as the art of squirting "Big Hair."

Did I just hear someone say, "Don't give them that! It will spoil their supper!" P'shaw!  Spoiling one's supper is kind of like losing a ball game. Like I always tell Spike when LSU gets walloped, "Don't worry. They can try again tomorrow." Supper is kind of like that every now and then. These children can eat a big supper at home tomorrow with their parents.
Doesn't this look like a lot more fun and wouldn't it taste better than broccoli and a pork chop? I mean, really.

Then if you need a little variety or need to move to a new food group like whole grains, you can always squirt "Big Hair" on a powdered sugar do-nut. He's forgotten all about that broccoli.

He may never eat broccoli again. Spike doesn't eat it. Maybe his granny fed him a "Big Hair Do-nut." If you insist on some healthy aspect of this delicacy you can always add a strawberry to the stack. Or as Erin would say, "Add a little ham and it would be a complete meal."
That's a good job, Benj. Eat that do-nut all up so you can have some dessert. Wait til you see what we have for dessert. We're just getting to the good stuff.
 Are you Reddi?

1 comment:

  1. you are hilarious! And they'll be taking a bath with the strawberries before long :)